申请调往公司其他部门Requesting an Internal Department Transfer
AI 估评 8 分查看四维评分详情
四个维度等权计分,均值 7.75,按半分档展示。AI 估评供学习参考。
任务完成度 TA7 / 9
现岗位经验与目标部门清楚,公司收益和留任意愿均提及;具体如何贡献及为何珍视本公司尚不够展开。
档位依据:符合7档全部要点覆盖;8档需更充分解释公司收益与留任理由。
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project management, client relations, data analysis and requirement analysis
明确所学。
I deeply appreciate the opportunities I have had here
表达留任理由,但只作概括。
改进建议
- 举一项新岗位可应用的能力,并说明公司给予的具体机会。
连贯与衔接 CC8 / 9
各段分别表达申请、经验、转岗贡献和留任意愿,思路容易跟进,指代自然;value与grow的概括稍有重复。
档位依据:结构清楚达到8档;9档需减少抽象信息的循环。
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This role has helped me develop
回指现岗位明确。
By making this transition
自然连接新岗位与贡献。
改进建议
- 用具体贡献替换一处重复的发展概述。
词汇资源 LR8 / 9
行业经验、分析与职业发展词汇灵活,align well、fresh insights等搭配基本自然;部分商务表述宽泛。
档位依据:较广准确资源符合8档;9档需要更具体精确地表达贡献。
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align well with the work being done there
岗位匹配表达自然。
adding more value to the company
意思清楚但信息笼统。
改进建议
- 具体说明价值体现在哪类分析或项目成果。
语法范围与准确性 GRA8 / 9
关系从句、宾语从句、被动和分词结构准确,复杂句衔接稳定;句式主要集中于主语加意愿或判断。
档位依据:多数无误且有广泛结构,符合8档;9档的充分灵活性尚未完全展示。
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how our industry works and how to effectively carry out important projects
并列宾语结构清楚。
while also expanding my expertise
非谓语结构准确。
改进建议
- 在保持准确的前提下用具体工作行为组织句子,减少I believe类句式。
评分日期:2026-10-23 · 评分规则:IELTS 写作公开评分标准(2023 年 5 月版)
作文题目
来源页题目,与同页选定答案配套;未核为实际考试真题
You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company.
Write a letter to your manager. In your letter,
say what you have learned in your present job
suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department
explain why you do not wish to leave the company
Write at least 150 words.
You do NOT need to write any addresses.
Begin your letter as follows:
Dear …………………..,
Dear Mr Abraham,
I am writing to express my interest in transferring to a different department within our company to further my career development. I am hoping that you will help me with that.
Over the past two years in my current role as an Assistant Project Manager, I have gained valuable experience in project management, client relations, data analysis and requirement analysis. This role has helped me develop a strong understanding of how our industry works and how to effectively carry out important projects, which I believe can be beneficial in other areas of our organization.
I am particularly interested in moving to the System Analysis and Development team because I believe my skills and experience align well with the work being done there. By making this transition, I can contribute fresh insights while also expanding my expertise, ultimately adding more value to the company. Additionally, a new challenge will allow me to grow professionally while remaining committed to our organization’s goals.
I deeply appreciate the opportunities I have had here and would love to continue my journey within the company. If possible, I would appreciate a discussion on how we can make this transition smooth and beneficial for both sides.
I look forward to your positive response.
Yours sincerely,
Eric Buchanan
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