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申请调往公司其他部门Requesting an Internal Department Transfer

Task 1 · General Training请求/申请/询问工作与经济213 词AI 估评 8 分
AI 估评 8 分查看四维评分详情

四个维度等权计分,均值 7.75,按半分档展示。AI 估评供学习参考。

任务完成度 TA7 / 9

现岗位经验与目标部门清楚,公司收益和留任意愿均提及;具体如何贡献及为何珍视本公司尚不够展开。

档位依据:符合7档全部要点覆盖;8档需更充分解释公司收益与留任理由。

查看评分证据
  • project management, client relations, data analysis and requirement analysis

    明确所学。

  • I deeply appreciate the opportunities I have had here

    表达留任理由,但只作概括。

改进建议

  • 举一项新岗位可应用的能力,并说明公司给予的具体机会。

连贯与衔接 CC8 / 9

各段分别表达申请、经验、转岗贡献和留任意愿,思路容易跟进,指代自然;value与grow的概括稍有重复。

档位依据:结构清楚达到8档;9档需减少抽象信息的循环。

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  • This role has helped me develop

    回指现岗位明确。

  • By making this transition

    自然连接新岗位与贡献。

改进建议

  • 用具体贡献替换一处重复的发展概述。

词汇资源 LR8 / 9

行业经验、分析与职业发展词汇灵活,align well、fresh insights等搭配基本自然;部分商务表述宽泛。

档位依据:较广准确资源符合8档;9档需要更具体精确地表达贡献。

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  • align well with the work being done there

    岗位匹配表达自然。

  • adding more value to the company

    意思清楚但信息笼统。

改进建议

  • 具体说明价值体现在哪类分析或项目成果。

语法范围与准确性 GRA8 / 9

关系从句、宾语从句、被动和分词结构准确,复杂句衔接稳定;句式主要集中于主语加意愿或判断。

档位依据:多数无误且有广泛结构,符合8档;9档的充分灵活性尚未完全展示。

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  • how our industry works and how to effectively carry out important projects

    并列宾语结构清楚。

  • while also expanding my expertise

    非谓语结构准确。

改进建议

  • 在保持准确的前提下用具体工作行为组织句子,减少I believe类句式。

评分日期:2026-10-23 · 评分规则:IELTS 写作公开评分标准(2023 年 5 月版)

作文题目

来源页题目,与同页选定答案配套;未核为实际考试真题

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter, say what you have learned in your present job suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department explain why you do not wish to leave the company Write at least 150 words. You do NOT need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as follows: Dear …………………..,
Dear Mr Abraham, I am writing to express my interest in transferring to a different department within our company to further my career development. I am hoping that you will help me with that. Over the past two years in my current role as an Assistant Project Manager, I have gained valuable experience in project management, client relations, data analysis and requirement analysis. This role has helped me develop a strong understanding of how our industry works and how to effectively carry out important projects, which I believe can be beneficial in other areas of our organization. I am particularly interested in moving to the System Analysis and Development team because I believe my skills and experience align well with the work being done there. By making this transition, I can contribute fresh insights while also expanding my expertise, ultimately adding more value to the company. Additionally, a new challenge will allow me to grow professionally while remaining committed to our organization’s goals. I deeply appreciate the opportunities I have had here and would love to continue my journey within the company. If possible, I would appreciate a discussion on how we can make this transition smooth and beneficial for both sides. I look forward to your positive response. Yours sincerely, Eric Buchanan
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